Frequently Asked Questions
on social skills
Click on any of the questions below or simply scroll through to read each question and answer:
- How early can I start working with a child?
- How long will it take?
- Can I work with a child on a 1:1 basis?
- How big should the social skills group be?
- How long should the group sessions be?
- When I should I move from one area of need to another?
- Are there a few core social skills that are more important to teach?
- I am struggling to make progress with a child, where am I going wrong?
1. ‘How early can I start working with a child?’
I think the earlier we start working with children, the better.
The difference will be the way you work with them. Remember that a lot of early work will need to be repetitive and will depend on good models around the child and lots of encouragement and reinforcement.
You can also simplify some of the basic skills and get the child to practise 'good sitting' and 'good looking' for example.
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2. ‘How long will it take?’
This is probably the question I get asked most frequently and it is not straightforward to answer.
The factors that will affect the length of intervention will be: the age of child, the number of social skills difficulties that the child experiences, the home and school environment and whether the child has any additional disabilities. For example, if a child has one or two specific difficulties and has a supportive family and school environment then you may see change very quickly and direct intervention may not last very long. However, I do believe in a long term approach to developing social skills, taking one or two skills at a time and helping them to develop and then generalise before moving onto another skill.
Within schools, I believe in taking at least a term to tackle one area e.g. body language, and in some cases, thinking in terms of an academic year. If this is not possible, then be realistic in what you are going to achieve in a shorter period of time.
Of course, it is not just about teaching the children social skills. An effective intervention programme will also include staff development, family support, peer support and a mixture of direct instructional approaches.
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3. ‘Can I work with a child on a 1:1 basis?’
Groups are often the preferred way to work on social skills, but this is sometimes not practical.
1:1 work can also be very effective especially if you can explore a topic using comic strip conversations, write a social story and watch the Talkabout DVD.
I often use 1:1 work to skill up parents to then do the work within natural situations. 1:1 work is less suitable for problem solving, practising skills and doing role plays etc.
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4. ‘How big should the social skills group be?’
The size of the group will depend on the age and ability of the children but as a rule they should be big enough to generate discussions and play games and small enough to allow for everyone to take part in all the activities without losing attention and motivation.
With young children, the group may be as small as three and with older, more able children, as large as eight. Remember also that you really need two facilitators to make a group work well.
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5. ‘How long should the group sessions be?’
The length of the session may have to be determined by the timetable in the school or other factors, but the session should be long enough to allow for a group cohesion game, a main activity and a final activity.
I mostly allow between 40 and 50 minutes for a group. If you are running a long group (longer than 1 hour), then I always timetable in a short biscuit break.
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6. ‘When I should I move from one area of need to another?’
If you are working with a child who has difficulties in all areas of social skills, i.e. body language, the way we talk, conversational skills and assertiveness skills, then you will need to start work on his body language.
I would move onto the next area when he has developed his body language to an extent where he now has a majority of strengths in that area. He may still have a couple of areas of need, but that would not stop me from starting to address skills within the next level.
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7. ‘Are there a few core social skills that are more important to teach?’
This is an excellent question! A social skills assessment can make it look like all the skills are of equal importance and yet I believe there are a number of core skills that are more important as they are the basis for a number of more complex skills which develop later. For example: eye contact helps to develop listening skills which in turn improves turn taking and then finally relevance.
So, there are certainly some skills that are more important to teach. Within each area there are a number of skills that have more of an impact. For example in body language, the important skills are eye contact, facial expression, distance and posture.
In a couple of schools I work in, we have simplified the social skills message to the children by focusing on five basic 'Talkabout rules': good sitting, good looking, good listening, good talking, and good distance.
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8. ‘I am struggling to make progress with a child, where am I going wrong?’
Check the following:
Have you started at a topic that is too complex?
This is the most common mistake. Go back to your assessment and make sure that you are following the hierarchy:
1. self awareness;
2. body language;
3. the way we talk;
4. conversational skills;
5. assertiveness skills
Have you pitched your intervention at the right level?
Consider the child’s level of development and check that they understand the game / social story / activity that you are asking them to do.
Is the environment backing up what is being taught?
Consider if the child’s environment is the problem. Do you need to do some staff training?
Is the child motivated?
Find something to motivate the child or start work on something that they are going to be successful at.
So hopefully that has answered one or two questions you may have had. This is the final article for the time being on social skills.
In the next article, I will start to consider self esteem and relationship skills and how they link in with social skills.
I hope you have a very happy New Year!
Alex Kelly
Speech & language therapist and social skills consultant www.alexkelly.biz
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